Losing weight isn’t easy. Most people spend months to years of dedicated, hard work just to shave off a few pounds. Sometimes they power through ultimate suffering and discomfort and other times a relatively comfortable diet can provide satisfying results.
With every sane method of doing something, there are always a few people that are willing to push their efforts to the extreme. This method is often called crash dieting. Crash dieting is when you subject yourself to a ridiculously strict and uncomfortable diet for a very short amount of time for big results. Many crash diets claim that you can lose 5-20 pounds in two weeks.
Juice diets are old news. These diets are so heinous or uncomfortable that they might not even justify the weight lost. And do they even work? Besides being hazardous, these diets are extremely controversial as to showing any positive results. So, let’s take a look at some of the most extreme crash diets ever!
The Cabbage Soup Diet
The what diet? Yeah, this diet is all cabbage all the time. In fact, you can eat as much cabbage as you can possibly stomach every day. There are other listed foods you can eat. For example, on Day 1, you can eat any fruit (except bananas) and on day 2, you have to eat vegetables only. The rule with the cabbage soup diet is that you have to have cabbage soup every day. It’s hard to tell why, but it’s mandatory. The rules literally say this.
The idea of the cabbage diet is that you’ll never be able to eat enough cabbage to reach your calorie limit for the day. Most people can only eat 700-800 calories worth of this leafy green a day before they’ve had they’re fill. That doesn’t mean you won’t be hungry, it just means you’ve eaten way too much cabbage to feel good about yourself.
In the end, most people can only go about a week on this rigid diet. Most often, they lose up to ten pounds in that week, which is a pretty big claim for a crash diet. So, does it actually work? Most people did lose ten pounds, but they immediately regained the weight because this low-carb diet makes you lose water weight instead of plain fat. Unless you’re a cabbage soup fanatic, it’s impossible to stay on this diet long-term.
The Master Cleanse
If you’re interested in torturing yourself, then the Master Cleanse is probably right for you. This diet doesn’t sound fun at all, despite being alternatively called the Lemonade Diet. Every morning you need to drink a quart of lukewarm saltwater on an empty stomach. Yum! Then throughout the day, you have to drink 6-12 glasses of lemonade “enhanced” with cayenne pepper. You will be drinking a lot of this as well as your nightly peppermint laxative tea, because you can’t eat anything. When I say you can’t eat anything, I mean nothing. No food. No fruit, vegetables, or cabbage. Only lemonade and laxatives.
Beyoncé is a huge supporter of the Master Cleanse, but surprisingly, not eating anything for ten days might actually hurt you, experts say. Who would have thought? Just like the Cabbage Soup diet, you’ll definitely lose weight, but it’s mostly muscle and water weight, so you can look forward to gaining that back when those pesky laxatives wear off. Anyway, my favorite part of this diet is that it’s a detox. If you’re going to rely on detoxes to cleanse your body, then you might as well cut out your liver (Please do not). You’ll drop a few pounds fast! I’m not knocking Beyoncé, I’m just saying that sometimes you’re naturally a goddess.
The Elizabeth Taylor Diet
This one just isn’t sane. Elizabeth Taylor was obviously a brilliant actress, but she wasn’t the best in the kitchen. Anyway, forcing herself to live off of her own culinary creations also made her shed an extraordinary amount of weight because after a while, there’s just so much of these pregnancy-cravings that you can actually tolerate without an impending visit from the stork.
To participate in the diet, you just need some food and a bunch of Liz Taylor’s wacky recipes. Breakfast is always the most important meal of the day because it won’t revolt you. It’s just dry toast and any fruit of your choosing. Then you’re off to exercise. Elizabeth Taylor hated exercise, so she recommended this simple but exhausting exercise: standing up straight. Woah! Don’t give up yet!
Next, you’re off to get creative in the kitchen for dinner. Just dinner. One of the recipes that fascinates me terribly is Liz Taylor’s Steak Sandwich. It’s interesting because it combines two really great sandwiches into a mess of horrifying proportions. It’s a peanut butter sandwich, but instead of putting the two slices of bread together right away, you need to add steak for good measure. Another classic is her sour cream and cottage cheese dip. It’s a fun game where you dip carrots in and try not to throw up.
Does it work? Well, since you’re starving yourself because you can’t eat more than three bites of any given dinner, then yes. If you happen to hold out like Liz did for more than a week, then you might lose more than water weight, but it’s not likely that you’ll ever look like Elizabeth Taylor. I also don’t recommend you try this. No good.
Crash Diets are a little too extreme for most people, but that doesn’t stop them from gaining popularity. Because they only offer a short-term solution to a big problem, they should never be looked at as the best weight loss method. Crash diets are often very flawed weight loss methods and very dangerous to participate in. If you’re trying to lose weight, patience is key, so try revising your diet and exercise routines before turning to extreme weight loss!